IF: visitors

So... you know how it is: your best friend in the world is coming for a long visit. You have great plans of all the things you want to do together. At first everything is great, you're having the best time. A week later he feels at home and you start finding little gifts around the house: the smelly socks he forgot on the carpet, the dirty dishes he's going to wash later. The food you buy disappears suspiciously, and you start watching every bite he takes.
When he finally leaves you say: "I hope we can do it again next year", but deep down you know that next year you're going to Africa, to the moon, or even to visit your parents, as long as it stops him from coming.